Peter Slattery

Dr Ramon Lewis of the University of Ballarat has some interesting things to say about the differences between boys and girls and how thy they cope with the difficult ’stuff ‘ of life. He says that:

Research with young people has shown that boys and girls use some coping strategies more than others.

Preferred coping styles of adolescent males and females

BOYS MORE LIKELY                                          GIRLS MORE LIKELY
   THAN GIRLS TO:                                                     THAN BOYS TO:

use humour or jokes                                                talk to others about it seek
                                                                                           social support

use physical recreation                                          set out to solve their problems
eg sports, games

deny anything is wrong                                              be fatalistic – think they
                                                                                            can do nothing about it

be aggressive eg hit out                                                           work hard

ignore the problem                                                           use tension reduction
                                                                                                    eg cry

manage by themselves                                                                     worry

act out                                                                                          blame themselves

abuse substances eg. alcohol                                               seek spiritual support
                                                                                                          eg pray

use distraction                                                                         seek others’ approval

entilate emotions                                                                    engage in wishful thinking

Interesting stuff. What do you think?

I have written about Richard Florida before. This is a kinda funny vid interview. Funny and yet he is saying something interesting I think. Check it out.

http://creativeclass.com/richard_florida/video/index.php?video=20070716-The_Colbert_Report-Richard_Florida

Yes, I am aware that I am a man commenting on images of women…?

These two images were striking simply because they were back to back in the same newspaper. What does each image say about…well, a whole bunch of things really.

I recently went to a seminar on ‘Masculinities and crime’. And the speakers talked about the way certain attitudes and behaviours are linked to gender, become in certain ways ‘masculinized.’ Michael Flood was one speaker and Kerry Carrington the other. Kerry spoke about the difference between monologic and dialogic aspects of masculinity, the former being somewhat closed, rigid, controlling and aggressive, the latter more open, fluid, discussive, democratic and friendly. As always I have provided the links here so check out for yourself what they more fully have to say. An important topic.

We just came back from Taree on the north (ish) coast of New South Wales where I was part of the Taree Fatherhood festival, held over the fathers’ day weekend. A good thing really. A lot of great work by Peter Glencross (and I’m sure, many others unknown to me). And after all these years, I now qualify as a father. Perhaps the easiest part is just BECOMING a father. Whether I am a good father or not…you can ask my son in the years to come.

The festival had its serious side and it’s lighter, tho no less important, side. The concert with Archie Roach, Shane Howard and others was terrific…the er…photo below was sort of intended to be a shot of our boy dancing in front of the stage…believe me, archie roach and friends are only JUST behind.

Some thoughts about the experience of those days:
- Being a father is a wonderfully tough, toughly wonderful thing to be
- Being a man in Australia 2008 is an interesting, demanding, tiring and inspiring thing
- Fun is good for us
- A circle of men can be simply a very good thing
- I am drawn constantly back to thinking about how things can happen…’out there.’ If connection and relationship are fundamentally important to us as human beings, (and I think they are) how do we encourage this in today’s world? Especially in what seems to be shaping up as the epi-center of increasing depression. The English speaking whitefellas’ world?
- And loneliness especially for men in this epi-center is something to be concerned about
- I am encouraged, and encouraged to think some more, about my part in it all
- And…life is good
- Thanks.

Music is powerful. Music is wonderful. And the following piece of research published in the
Australasian Psychiatry Publication of The Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Psychiatrists, Volume 16 Issue 4 2008 is interesting. The following is a direct quote:

Objective: In the aftermath of the double suicide of two teenage girls in 2007, the media linked the themes of ‘emo’ music and the girls’ mental state. But it is not just emo music that has been the subject of scrutiny by the media. Rap music, country, and heavy metal have also been blamed for antisocial behaviours including violence, theft, promiscuity and drug use. It remains an important research and clinical question as to whether music contributes to the acting out of behaviours described in the music lyrics or whether the preferred music represents the already existing behavioural tendencies in the subject. This paper surveys and discusses the relevant literature on music preference and adolescent music listening behaviours, and their links with adolescent mental health.

Conclusion: Studies have found a relationship between various genres of music and antisocial behaviours, vulnerability to suicide, and drug use. However, studies reject that music is a causal factor and suggest that music preference is more indicative of emotional vulnerability. A limited number of studies have found correlations between music preference and mental health status. More research is needed to determine whether music preferences of those with diagnosed mental health issues differ substantially from the general adolescent population.

Ingrid Poulson has been in the news a little lately. In 2003 her then husband, murdered her father and her two young children.

I listened to an interview with her on Radio National (‘Life Matters’ 7th August 2008) and she sounded really lovely, really well, really positive. Pretty amazing. And she has written a book ‘Rise’ and I am only too pleased to say so. I have no idea if it[s any good but I intend to take a look. In the interview I was struck by a number of things. She said that when her children were killed she was ‘un-mumed’. And she asks: what are we without a role? She asks: if we lose our role do we lose our identity? Good questions I think.

She also said something along the lines that at one point she had been telling her story so many times to so many groups that: ‘I was…it was becoming a little bit too much of my story…I’ve really chosen to move on…’ This also seems a great comment about how to deal with tragedy.

Of her current partner she said that perhaps the radio interviewer could ask him to help her with children. So even after her experience of 2003 she wants more children. She says: ‘…it’s something I wouldn’t mind doing.’ Pretty impressive I thought.

And from the Sydney Morning Herald (August 9th 2008) I read that her idea of resilience is based on four ideas:

- Resolve (Giving yourself permission to survive)
- Identity (acknowledging your wins and embracing flexibility)
- Support (You cant do it alone)
- And everyday (eat well, get some exercise and don’t watch too much TV)

I think my top four would be:
- A sense of belonging
- Identity and a clear sense of self
- Good relationships
- A sense of being in charge of yourself

I wonder if we really differ so much? All the very, very best to Ingrid. An inspiration truly.

I found the following video on the website of Chicago Public Radio presents:This American Life, and it’s charming…and makes an interesting comment on…well, not sure really…perception? Communication? Memory? Relationships? Gender? Imagination? Whatever…I think it’s deligtful. See what you think.

This is a bit of a development from the last thing I put up. The camp where most of us were young-ish…and some of us somewhat older. And good things happened:

And as our 5 day camp together came to a close I asked a question of a bunch of people of various ages ranging across 35 years. This is what I asked: What is the best thing in the world? And this is what they said:
Life
Music
Friends
Children
Life
Music
People
Life
Love
My daughters

So…how would you answer the question? What do you think is the best thing in the world?

I bet you thought you knew what was important? And you’d be right. Body hair! This newspaper article tells us so. Whether guy or doll, bloke or sheila, male or female, excess body hair is something you do not want.

And you can wax, or you can IPL (this is not canned fruit ha! ha! ha!); it is as you know, ‘intense pulsed light’. This starts at around $70 and a full body job is about $300. A bargain. Then there is threading which is of course rolling a cotton thread over what the article describes as ‘rebellious brows’ and a bunch of hairs is then ripped out. And we have of course the more familiar depilatory creams which seem at least to be painless. Sometimes there are just too many things to get excited about aren’t there.

And what’s just fabulous about this of course is that it used to be only women who were worried about such things. But with equal opportunity exploitation men can now line up for a new piece of superficiality to be concerned about. Oh lucky lucky.