Peter Slattery

Yes, I am aware that I am a man commenting on images of women…?

These two images were striking simply because they were back to back in the same newspaper. What does each image say about…well, a whole bunch of things really.

I bet you thought you knew what was important? And you’d be right. Body hair! This newspaper article tells us so. Whether guy or doll, bloke or sheila, male or female, excess body hair is something you do not want.

And you can wax, or you can IPL (this is not canned fruit ha! ha! ha!); it is as you know, ‘intense pulsed light’. This starts at around $70 and a full body job is about $300. A bargain. Then there is threading which is of course rolling a cotton thread over what the article describes as ‘rebellious brows’ and a bunch of hairs is then ripped out. And we have of course the more familiar depilatory creams which seem at least to be painless. Sometimes there are just too many things to get excited about aren’t there.

And what’s just fabulous about this of course is that it used to be only women who were worried about such things. But with equal opportunity exploitation men can now line up for a new piece of superficiality to be concerned about. Oh lucky lucky.

If this website is about people and our lives…then here is something that blew me away. My source, as it often is, is ABC Radio. In this case Hindsight March 18th 2008
about an amazing woman Mrs Mac, 1892-1982.

There are lots of parts to her story whch are just wonderful…Australia’s first woman radio telegraphist (1924); the only woman member of the Wireless Institute of Australia; founded and directed the Women’s Emergency Signalling Corps…which led to the Women’s Royal Australian Naval Service. Okay they are facts and as impressive as they are…check this out…she wants to become an Electrical Engineer so she goes to Sydney Technical College to enrol and is told she has to be working in the field to enrol. (Catch 22 had not been written then!) So she prints cards with her name on it saying she does electrical work, checks the newspapers and finds a place at the end of the transport lines where they need electrical work done and it’s too far for most people. She gets the work and then goes back to the Tech College and is accepted. Now how cool is that!

During the war she trains thousands of servicemen and trains the women to train the men. Something like 10,00n men and 3,000 women are trained in all.

She goes on doing this work for something like 10 years after the war.

She uses music as part of her teaching…morse code goes dada dadit..sing ‘to hell with it’ to get the rhythm.

She does it all for free!

And then to leave one more things behind her, as she gets older she says: ‘To keep one’s courage and faith to the end, is the chief goal of life.’

What a great woman.

I did say I would give you some information about the fabulous women I heard speak on Radio National’s ‘Australia talks’ on 20th December 2007. Here they are under the title of that show:

Science of sexuality
Dr.Clio Cresswell
Mathematician, University of Sydney and author of Mathematics and Sex

Jennifer Graves
Professor of comparative genomics, the Research School of Biological Sciences, Australian National University, Canberra
Lish Fejer
Science nerd with a GSOH (good sense of humour)
Freelance communicator, presenter and performer, and appears on ABC TV’s Carbon

I went looking for a bit more and found more stuff including some of the bits you see below from Clio Cresswell, obviously smart and entertaining and I’m guessing it doesn’t hurt her to have a (literally) sexy topic and being not unattractive herself. All power to her. Here’s what she said on Radio National’s Catalyst 4th October 2007 on her topic of ‘Sex and mathematics.’

‘My most famous theory is the 12 bonk rule. You have 12 partners and then you pick the next best after that for you so the next best could be number 16, 50, 110 its up to you to decide. I’ve had way more than 12 partners but that’s shown me that I have probably met someone in my past that I could actually be very happy with but I’ve just got a commitment issue. Oh god it’s getting hot in here isn’t it.’

And a bit more from the New Zealand Listener (Oct 2004)

‘If you’re buying a DVD player, think of all the effort you got to. But when it comes to marriage, we just go all barmy. There’s a 50 per cent predicted divorce rate, yet if there was a 50 per cent probability that the DVD player that you bought was going to crap out in a year’s time, you’d really think twice about buying it.’

Wadaya reckon?

I keep on hearing all sorts of things about a genetic predisposition for…well all sorts of things really. Things like diabetes type 2, dependence on alcohol, violent behaviour, being happy or putting on weight. And all this may be true and I am all for finding out what is happening physiologically and how we can respond medically. It may save our lives.

SOME THOUGHTS
And yet I would like to throw in a thought or two:
1 My dad had pimples…so did I…I still do sometimes (and at my age it just ain’t fair)
2 My neighbours like me and talk to me. I like them and talk to them
3 People feel a whole lot better about themselves when they are in charge of their lives. Me too.

Okay, put a little glibly perhaps. But really I think it’s a bit like this

OR SAID DIFFERENTLY
1 Knowing what predisposes us can give us a caution about how to proceed.
So finding out about the genetic stuff does matter, and I really mean that. Yet put really simply it might just go like this. Hey, both of my parents seem to drink a lot…I wonder what that might mean for me and booze? I notice I have a couple of uncles and aunts who seem to be pretty down a lot of the time…and so am I…hmmm. Ya know what, lots of people in my family seem to be kind of stout…what does that mean for me and pizza? I can consider myself cautioned. And yes I know. Just being aware isn’t enough for anyone. We KNOW about skin cancer and the sun and yet check out any beach on a weekend in summer. We KNOW about smoking and yet just look around. But a genuine awareness is at least part of a change process.

2 The neighbours thing. We really do know that where we live and how we live makes a difference in terms of all sorts of behaviours. We know poverty and oppression create criminal actions. I like this quote:

‘We need friends, we need more sociable societies, we need to feel useful, and we need to exercise a significant degree of control over meaningful work. Without these we can become prone to depression, drug use, anxiety, hostility and feelings of hopelessness, which all rebound on physical health’
(Wilkinson and Marmot, in WHO 2003, Introduction)

So I am pleased I get on well with and enjoy the company of those who live next door and around me.

3 The being-in-charge of ourselves is just huge. I constantly refer to Len Syme who has researched this extensively.

AND SO?
So what’s fixed and what can we choose? Well tricky ain’t it buuut…..maybe bearing in mind that we may well have certain tendencies…including towards good stuff…and we know that how we act is enormously influenced by social factors, and that people have more chance of flourishing when in charge of themselves, we can….
Possibly be a little more sensible about how we tackle things like obesity, violence and harmful use of alcohol and other drugs. We can focus on what drives or motivates behaviour rather than focusing exclusively on the behaviour. In our day-to-day lives, with a small picture perspective in our face-to-face stuff with people we can focus on their capabilities and the importance of them being in charge of themselves.
With the bigger picture stuff, because we do know for example that poverty and oppression create criminal actions, we can do whatever we can to help build societies, communities, streets and homes that are welcoming and inclusive. Make them downright neighbourly in fact.

Recently I was asked to present a workshop on body image. Not a new topic for many of us but continuing to be an important one. So as I was sitting having coffee I picked up a magazine to remind myself of what we are daily surrounded by. I think I had forgotten the extent of the overload which we are exposed to. The cover had the following headline.

Then page after page the word ‘body’ popped up in various other headlines.

You get the idea.

All this is apart from the endless references to looking good, the latest diets for that BODY, and various things you can colour it with or drape it with to make it look better.

Now I am a fan of being healthy and I am a big fan of exercise. And yet this is out the other side of reasonable. I think it works something like this. There are strong connections between the following dynamics, each linking to and supporting the other.
Body Image
Objectification
Commodification
Consumerism
Dissatisfaction
Further consumerism

Body image
We are encouraged (excessively and beyond anything reasonable) to believe that how we look is important.
Objectification
In this process, people become objects and are regarded as such. And we can both regard ourselves as well as others as objects. Females in particular have been subjected to this.
Commodification
Objects become ‘things’ to be obtained in some way. ‘A good body’ is considered a great ‘thing’ to have and can be had through diets and gym membership. Bodies can actually be won it seems.

And of course we need a complete wardrobe of bodies…one for each season.

And we can even commodify those things that we need for a ‘happy life.’ Commodities such as a sense of worth, status, feeling good, looking good, being ’sought after’, are all available at a price.

Consumerism
We are encouraged to believe that we can buy happiness, through the new diet, the latest clothes, the attractive accessories.

Dissatisfaction
Continued consuming depends on people being dissatisfied with what they have and who they are. Our bodies are never good enough (there is always a new diet), what we have, including what we wear on our bodies, needs constantly to be updated to make sure that we attract others and to make sure we continue to feel good about ourselves…albeit temporarily. Comparison with others, always to our detriment, is encouraged.

Have a look at the stats. In Australia it seems:

‘…only 16% of young women are happy with their body weight.’

Interestingly the % for young men is not quoted. And:

‘…45% of women and 23% of men in the healthy weight range think they are overweight. At least 20% of women who are underweight think that they are overweight and are dieting to lose weight.’

And on and on the cycle continues.

Are males immune?

There is increasing evidence that the body image dilemma, traditionally the select preserve of females, is making considerable inroads into maleness.

Does any of this matter?

- Take a wee look at the amount of violence that still exists between males and females.
- Take a wee look at the role women still find themselves in.
- Take a wee look at the research that suggests that Western English-speaking countries in particular are experiencing unprecedented levels of depression.

And just so you know, every single picture you see here came from the one magazine. You don’t have to look far for evidence of the overload.

What do we do?
Resist!!!

With a focus on:
- Developing a strong sense of internal rather than external motivation
- Focussing on ourselves and others as worthwhile beautiful human beings rather than items which might attract others

And with a mindful remembering of all that the recent research is telling us about what helps all of us grow strong:

- A strong sense of self
- A strong sense of purpose and belonging
- Good strong relationships with others
- A sense of being in charge of yourself and your life.

These things won’t inoculate us from the impact of consumerism…but they sure as heck won’t hurt us either. And we do know that these elements do help people grow strong and go well in life.