Peter Slattery

Dr Ramon Lewis of the University of Ballarat has some interesting things to say about the differences between boys and girls and how thy they cope with the difficult ’stuff ‘ of life. He says that:

Research with young people has shown that boys and girls use some coping strategies more than others.

Preferred coping styles of adolescent males and females

BOYS MORE LIKELY                                          GIRLS MORE LIKELY
   THAN GIRLS TO:                                                     THAN BOYS TO:

use humour or jokes                                                talk to others about it seek
                                                                                           social support

use physical recreation                                          set out to solve their problems
eg sports, games

deny anything is wrong                                              be fatalistic – think they
                                                                                            can do nothing about it

be aggressive eg hit out                                                           work hard

ignore the problem                                                           use tension reduction
                                                                                                    eg cry

manage by themselves                                                                     worry

act out                                                                                          blame themselves

abuse substances eg. alcohol                                               seek spiritual support
                                                                                                          eg pray

use distraction                                                                         seek others’ approval

entilate emotions                                                                    engage in wishful thinking

Interesting stuff. What do you think?

Yes, I am aware that I am a man commenting on images of women…?

These two images were striking simply because they were back to back in the same newspaper. What does each image say about…well, a whole bunch of things really.

Big oops …big sorry! The Animoto vid that I posted before christmas turned out to be the ad for the Animoto site. Sorry bout that! As much as I like A’moto…I had intended to post something a bit more personal and meaningful about the camp…so here is the whole post again….

THE CAMP….around 50 people of all ages…doing amazing things…I learnt that I am no longer 18 years old…still limping…but kinda worth it. Young men bouncing off a mini trampoline about 3 metres plus into the air…raising issues they wanted to discuss and doing so with skills and integrity that would sort out most conflicts across the world…paint ball…oh dear…people being splattered…great short films being made…good discussions…some tension here and there…normal stuff…and generosity of spirit, braveness of endeavour, laughing good humour and a totally wonderful thing to be part of. Let’s do it again some time…

From the prolific Wes Fryer. 3rd Dec. On the differences between cooperation and collaboration.

‘Cooperation is when everyone is doing the same thing, we are using everyone’s work. Example: everyone is working on the same task together.
Collaborating is using our own strengths and gifts, like when people build a house together and are doing different things while working towards the same larger goal.’
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From the Sunday Herald 7th Dec 08, a headline:

HOW TO LOOK AFTER YOUR GRANDCHILDREN

And I thought: Always good to know about how to look after kids, and guess what? It was a guide to money investment. Silly old me; I just don’t understand childcare do I?
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From the wonderful Terry Pratchett (et al in this case), in ‘The Globe’. 2003, P 23

‘A spell is a story about what a person wants to happen, and magic is what turns stories into reality.’
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From ABC Radio ‘Life Matters’ 11th December 2008. A comment made by a (delightful) teenager about lying to his parents:

‘It’s easier to get forgiveness than permission.’

I have been quick to put something up here as Amy (below) tells me that although I claim her as a favourite person there is no pic of her on my website…there is now Amy!

And so we went bush again with the Beyond Empathy mob…hip hop, circus, indigenous dance, film-making, percussion…and oh dear…paint ball…

and it was amazing as on other occasions.

Not always easy…but easy is easy. The tougher moments are the test and the negotiations and discussions were truly remarkable. I would vote for you for Prime Minister Danny…an 18 (19?) year old young man who raised with everyone something that he thought was important and with no expecatation that his preferred option would be taken up, was fair, assertive and articulate. Fantastic stuff…I will post more about this week as it was terrific. Just thought I better get Amy up here fast!

Ingrid Poulson has been in the news a little lately. In 2003 her then husband, murdered her father and her two young children.

I listened to an interview with her on Radio National (‘Life Matters’ 7th August 2008) and she sounded really lovely, really well, really positive. Pretty amazing. And she has written a book ‘Rise’ and I am only too pleased to say so. I have no idea if it[s any good but I intend to take a look. In the interview I was struck by a number of things. She said that when her children were killed she was ‘un-mumed’. And she asks: what are we without a role? She asks: if we lose our role do we lose our identity? Good questions I think.

She also said something along the lines that at one point she had been telling her story so many times to so many groups that: ‘I was…it was becoming a little bit too much of my story…I’ve really chosen to move on…’ This also seems a great comment about how to deal with tragedy.

Of her current partner she said that perhaps the radio interviewer could ask him to help her with children. So even after her experience of 2003 she wants more children. She says: ‘…it’s something I wouldn’t mind doing.’ Pretty impressive I thought.

And from the Sydney Morning Herald (August 9th 2008) I read that her idea of resilience is based on four ideas:

- Resolve (Giving yourself permission to survive)
- Identity (acknowledging your wins and embracing flexibility)
- Support (You cant do it alone)
- And everyday (eat well, get some exercise and don’t watch too much TV)

I think my top four would be:
- A sense of belonging
- Identity and a clear sense of self
- Good relationships
- A sense of being in charge of yourself

I wonder if we really differ so much? All the very, very best to Ingrid. An inspiration truly.

This is a bit of a development from the last thing I put up. The camp where most of us were young-ish…and some of us somewhat older. And good things happened:

And as our 5 day camp together came to a close I asked a question of a bunch of people of various ages ranging across 35 years. This is what I asked: What is the best thing in the world? And this is what they said:
Life
Music
Friends
Children
Life
Music
People
Life
Love
My daughters

So…how would you answer the question? What do you think is the best thing in the world?

So in June we went and did it again. The Beyond Empathy camp in Northern New South Wales. Many of the old crew, and some new crew. Around 50 or so of us, mostly yungins but some of us older ones to add something we hope. And we did a bunch of stuff. And the animoto video here gives you a pretty good idea of what that all was.

And if you can’t make that work for some reason or if you just prefer pics that don’t move about…here are some stills.

A very good experience of people working together, getting on, finding differences, finding the common ground…eating, talking, laughing, pushing boundaries a tad…all in all … a good thing.

I bet you thought you knew what was important? And you’d be right. Body hair! This newspaper article tells us so. Whether guy or doll, bloke or sheila, male or female, excess body hair is something you do not want.

And you can wax, or you can IPL (this is not canned fruit ha! ha! ha!); it is as you know, ‘intense pulsed light’. This starts at around $70 and a full body job is about $300. A bargain. Then there is threading which is of course rolling a cotton thread over what the article describes as ‘rebellious brows’ and a bunch of hairs is then ripped out. And we have of course the more familiar depilatory creams which seem at least to be painless. Sometimes there are just too many things to get excited about aren’t there.

And what’s just fabulous about this of course is that it used to be only women who were worried about such things. But with equal opportunity exploitation men can now line up for a new piece of superficiality to be concerned about. Oh lucky lucky.